Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
