I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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