oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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