I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
