Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
And then my night got REAL pukey
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
Randomize