Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Randomize
