i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
now i know why i became what i already was.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
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told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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