yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
