even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Randomize
