i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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