I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize
