Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I enjoy the company of your penis
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
