Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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