Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
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