I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
I'm at about main and main street
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
