just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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