So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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