You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
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Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
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