that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
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