So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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