I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
you win again, gameday.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
