Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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