i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
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