20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
