dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize