i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Randomize
