everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize