Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
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