It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize