Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I think I sprained my soul last night
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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