Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Randomize
