I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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