operation harelip BJ is a go
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
