My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Randomize
