If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Randomize
