I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Randomize