Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
