He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
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