totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
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