We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
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I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
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Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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