I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Randomize
