And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
