I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
