you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
