Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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