The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
