dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
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