Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
