Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
if only i could text you this smell
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Randomize
