I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
