Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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