i don't like sucking hair
It's like God shit irony all over that family
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Randomize
