you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
