We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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