I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
