Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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