my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
