i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
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