I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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