I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
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