even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
