Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
